Day 1 : New Plan

As I have already mentioned I have been doing some plotting and planning. As you may have already realised I have a reasonably flakey personality when it comes the diet and fitness aspects of my life. The reason for this is because I don’t trust my own opinion and judgement, I know what to do, I can give others advice what to do but when it comes to my own body I don’t trust my own opinion and this is a major downfall. The result is that I change plan’s too often as I question myself and convince myself that the rules of physics and biology that apply to every other person don’t apply to me.

The result of all this is that this week I have undergone a mission to find myself a second opinion. Someone who can back me up and keep me on track with a plan. This person has appeared in the form of a personal trainer.

Out with the old

Last day of the old plan! Woop…..

Ok ok .. I know I am a terribly flitty personality and I know people are reading this going WHAAA she’s only just started and she’s changing the plan AGAIN!

But but but …. There is a difference and all will be revealed very shortly I promise. Not only that things are not changing that much… the overall plan is still the same which is to re-comp. It’s only the finer detail that shifting a tad.

A Kick in the right direction

Sometimes all we need is a kick in the right direction.

I have it over the past few weeks trying been trying to re-claim the disaster that is my life. I have been improving my diet, starting to exercise and I’ve been to the doctor to try and get a grip of my health issues. Also in the last few days I have been undergoing a secret mission to formalise some training yet to be disclosed.

However this morning with the country in full comic relief swing I got the final kick I needed. Sometimes all you need to realise that your world is really not that bad. That somewhere out there are people in a worse position. With that this morning I’m feeling a little shamed faced for being a miserable cow when the reality is I have nothing to complain about, I have a husband and children that love me. I have a house a job and I’m warm and fed and not everyone in the world that say that. So with my donation to comic relief made, I’m feeling focused and determined to get myself sorted out.

Feeling Worse! Whats going on.

So much for me posting more! Yeah I know im not sure what happened this week… things where a little crazy, my emotions are all over the place and my eating is too.  I literally can’t seem to go more than five minutes without bursting into tears over one things or another.

I have spent many times emotionally all over the place in my life, but honestly I can’t remember the last time I was just this down, everything is getting on top of me and mostly for no good reason. Bless my poor husband he is being great, he treated me to a bottle of wine and a nice meal on Friday, alone with plenty of cuddles to make the sadness go away.

The Diagnosis

Last week was a poopy week, that’s the official term btw.

Mostly I am still just feeling rough, im now sick of feeling rough. I did go for my doctor’s appointment last Wednesday and his verdict is that im suffering with something called PMDD. I was actually rather impressed, the ‘new guy’ had really taken time to go through my medical notes and despite my ranting and raving at him on my last visit he seemed willing to try and get this sorted.

Ok so what is PMDD … (Blokes may want to skip this part.. teehee)

Slight Re-evaluation at the end of the week

This week has been abit of a bad week i haven’t been nearly as organised as i need to be to make this work. On the upside TOM bloat finally subsided and allowed be to have a real weigh in, which saw me down to 123.4lb. Not bad progress really just over a 1lb a week.

Heres the weekly score’s on the doors.

Date		Quota	+ Exercise	Total	Consumed	Daily Difference	Difference for Week
Sat	16/02/13	1440	363	1803	1428	-375	-375
Sun	17/02/13	1440	96	1536	1698	162	-213
Mon	18/02/13	1440	64	1504	1233	-271	-484
Tue	19/02/13	1440	64	1504	1269	-235	-718
Wed	20/02/13	1440	127	1567	1595	28	-690
Thu	21/02/13	1440	64	1504	1135	-368	-1058
Fri	22/02/13	1437	64	1501	1498	-2	-1061

 

Unfortunately i did miss one of my planned weight training routine on friday, i did intend to do it which was why my cal’s are out. I ate all day as if the workout was going to go ahead but in the end my husband opted for a romantic night in. I don’t really mind that i missed the workout, i was able to curb the cal’s during my last meal so i didn’t go over and it’s such a rare thing me and my husband get a night in together without the kids i was well worth the treat.

Be careful what you write

And your body says’ Ouch!

That pretty much covers this morning’s feelings, as promised I have started to exercise and on Sunday I got out my new shiny weights and did a leg workout. At the time I felt I had gone easy on myself, I just did what seemed at the time to be a light workout to get myself back into the swing. Yesterday morning I woke up in pain… however the pain of yesterday pales in comparison of this morning where every step across the car park resulting in a grunt, typically paired with a swear word. All I can truly say is damn im glad I went easy on myself… I would have been buggered if I hadn’t.

The Promised Plan..

Ok finally I have a plan.

I have decided now is not the time for feeling sorry for myself, i have had a shitty couple of years but while things have been shitty, trouble with the husband and being sent to live in a crappy hotel where we couldnt’ deal with the issues.  Not everything is bad, i have my health, my kids are happy and healthy even though they could do with seeing there mum the same way.  We have a house, our bills are paid though we have a small about of debt things are manageable, we are i would say standing on the edge of a big cliff and while the ground is somewhat unstable there is still time to pull ourselves away from the edge.

The plan…..

Getting back on track

Ok so big day yesterday…

And just as big today…..

Yesterday I sat down with the doctor, after having a good olde whine on here i went and picked up the phone and made an appointment.

The doctor was lovely even though i did shout at him abit….  opps sorry Dr.

He must have thought i was mad, my opening line as i burst into tears was …. im not depressed and if i walk out of here with a prescription for anti depressant im going to freak.

Valentines Day

Valentines Day was an oops!

Daily Calories	1440
+ Exercise Calories	0
Total Calories	1440
Calories Used	1942
Calories Left	-502
Maintenance Calories	1690

There was an indian and a bottle of wine… enough said really.

Still it was a vast improvement from both a diet and personal on last years experience but still perhaps not all it could be, I know most of todays down beatness is due to the TOM fairy how is niggling away at the back of my head. I suffer with very bad depression and anger at TOM.