Feeling Worse! Whats going on.

So much for me posting more! Yeah I know im not sure what happened this week… things where a little crazy, my emotions are all over the place and my eating is too.  I literally can’t seem to go more than five minutes without bursting into tears over one things or another.

I have spent many times emotionally all over the place in my life, but honestly I can’t remember the last time I was just this down, everything is getting on top of me and mostly for no good reason. Bless my poor husband he is being great, he treated me to a bottle of wine and a nice meal on Friday, alone with plenty of cuddles to make the sadness go away. Continue reading

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The Diagnosis

Last week was a poopy week, that’s the official term btw.

Mostly I am still just feeling rough, im now sick of feeling rough. I did go for my doctor’s appointment last Wednesday and his verdict is that im suffering with something called PMDD. I was actually rather impressed, the ‘new guy’ had really taken time to go through my medical notes and despite my ranting and raving at him on my last visit he seemed willing to try and get this sorted.

Ok so what is PMDD … (Blokes may want to skip this part.. teehee) Continue reading

Be careful what you write

And your body says’ Ouch!

That pretty much covers this morning’s feelings, as promised I have started to exercise and on Sunday I got out my new shiny weights and did a leg workout. At the time I felt I had gone easy on myself, I just did what seemed at the time to be a light workout to get myself back into the swing. Yesterday morning I woke up in pain… however the pain of yesterday pales in comparison of this morning where every step across the car park resulting in a grunt, typically paired with a swear word. All I can truly say is damn im glad I went easy on myself… I would have been buggered if I hadn’t. Continue reading

The Promised Plan..

Ok finally I have a plan.

I have decided now is not the time for feeling sorry for myself, i have had a shitty couple of years but while things have been shitty, trouble with the husband and being sent to live in a crappy hotel where we couldnt’ deal with the issues.  Not everything is bad, i have my health, my kids are happy and healthy even though they could do with seeing there mum the same way.  We have a house, our bills are paid though we have a small about of debt things are manageable, we are i would say standing on the edge of a big cliff and while the ground is somewhat unstable there is still time to pull ourselves away from the edge.

The plan….. Continue reading

Getting back on track

Ok so big day yesterday…

And just as big today…..

Yesterday I sat down with the doctor, after having a good olde whine on here i went and picked up the phone and made an appointment.

The doctor was lovely even though i did shout at him abit….  opps sorry Dr.

He must have thought i was mad, my opening line as i burst into tears was …. im not depressed and if i walk out of here with a prescription for anti depressant im going to freak.

Continue reading

Valentines Day

Valentines Day was an oops!

Daily Calories 1440
+ Exercise Calories 0
Total Calories 1440
Calories Used 1942
Calories Left -502
Maintenance Calories 1690

There was an indian and a bottle of wine… enough said really.

Still it was a vast improvement from both a diet and personal on last years experience but still perhaps not all it could be, I know most of todays down beatness is due to the TOM fairy how is niggling away at the back of my head. I suffer with very bad depression and anger at TOM.   Continue reading

Climbing back on the wagon.

I hate being Ill but I think what makes it worse on this occasion because I had just committed to getting my diet sorted. The last few days of dieting have been rubbish, lots of comfort food and anything else that tastes good and isn’t complicated to cook. Diet plan’s and food planning shot to hell in one fell swoop.

On the upside I have continued to log, well at least I have been logging as best I can considering the scales situation but that’s an entirely different rant that involves a small boy and a bowl of washing up. Calories wise … the beginning of the week was pants, calories where altogether too low due to my habit of sleeping away vast portions of the day. End of the week when food became more of an option, calories where a little higher than I’d like as certain comfort eating habits kicked in. Overall im not too concerned it should all balance out in the wash. Continue reading